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By: Akon Angara
“Beauty standard” is defined as, “the socially constructed notion that physical attractiveness is one of women’s most important assets, and something all women should strive to achieve and maintain”. Today, the beauty standard can be seen in almost every form of media we consume: magazines, films, and television.
The beauty standard in itself, is used as a tool of oppression. It continues to uphold sexism, racism, colorism, classism, ableism, ageism, and gender norms; It also plays a critical role in developing mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or even dysmorphia.
The beauty standard continues to change as trends come and go. However, one thing continues to remain constant - It excludes POC and stems from white supremacy.
As a black woman, the beauty standard has followed me around my whole life. It was one of the reasons as to why I struggled so much with self image, and it contributed to my insecurities. Growing up, there was little to no representation in the media I would consume of people who looked like me.
Seeing white women, who were continually uplifted and seen as attractive made me question my own attractiveness. They had features that I didn’t. Did that mean that my features were unattractive? They had long, straight hair. Did that mean that my kinky and curly hair was unattractive? They had white skin. Did that mean that my darker skin was unattractive? They had delicate and soft mannerisms. Did that mean mine were unattractive?
Unfortunately, my experience and stories are not unique to any POC. As I reached out to my friends who are BIPOC, they shared their own stories, and how the beauty standard affected how they view themselves.
ONE
As a half Australian and half Samoan POC, it's safe to say that the Eurocentric beauty standard has had detrimental effects on my own self image/esteem. Growing up in predominantly white schools, I often felt excluded and struggled finding my worth. I can recall many times in primary school being rejected by white male classmates, and them blatantly saying that it was due to my pacific islander features. Being raised in an area seeing how girls who were white were put on a pedestal that I was unable to reach made me feel unworthy. My own “best friend” encouraged me for three years to dress and apply makeup to fit the Eurocentric beauty standard if I wanted boys to like me. I can remember an instance where a group of boys pulled pranks on me pretending to like me only to be told it's a joke, as if to say “who could possibly like you?” They then continued to date my white female classmates and friends.
Despite moving to areas with POC, having men of my own nationality constantly sharing their opinions on how my features weren’t viewed as pretty, made me feel self conscious. Seeing on social media how praised white girls were, and still to this day rarely seeing POC women acknowledged for their beauty, has made me feel ugly. However, it's only now that as I’ve grown up and over the pas two years women have encouraged the idea that it's okay to not have those Eurocentric looks and that we should love our ethnic features , I’ve started to love myself more. Although, it's more of a challenge after being told my whole life I was not pretty because I didn’t meet the physical criteria of a white girl, I've slowly been able to embrace my unique features whether or not others view me as beautiful.
TWO
White beauty standards affect every POC, especially women. We’re often compared to white influencers, celebrities and even people like our classmates. If a boy were to take his pick of what girl he could date he would most likely choose a white woman, and that affects a lot of WOC, as they feel as if they are not good enough in their own skin and must change themselves to fit the standard of beauty by society’s measure. Personally I, was friends with the boys in my grade in primary school and I convinced myself it was because I wanted to be. However, maybe I was secretly distracting myself from the fact that none of them would ever see me as a romantic interest, because I was always taller and bigger than them, and maybe I didn’t look the way they wanted their ideal partner to look.
I had white friends and they never found trouble getting guys to notice them, in fact they always had a “boyfriend” at one point or another.
THREE
I feel as if when a POC has eurocentric features (predominantly seen in mixed race people) you're caught having to justify your background. As an indigenous and arab woman, I am very white passing, but this is due to rape and genocide of my people. I feel as though I need to explain my history in order for people to understand what I am ethnically.
FOUR
Eurocentric/white beauty standards have had a long lasting impact on how I view myself in multiple ways, although not always directly from white people. Growing up in an African community, there was always a hair relaxer or a skin bleaching product lying around, and although I was never allowed to use them, I’d have aunties all around me using them until I had the scent of those products ingrained in my mind. All of these products were catered to make us look “cleaner” or “proper”, and growing up, I had associated “white” with ”practical”. I had every desire to be pale, to have loose textured hair, to have brown or blonde hair instead of black. I found it hard to accept myself as beautiful with my own features, and for years my self worth depended on how “white” I behaved, which resulted in my self esteem dropping considerably, throughout my primary school life.
Those beauty standards are everywhere around us, whether it’s from the sheer amount of successful models being white (with people of colour immediately being labeled as exotic), or small straight noses being praised in the media, black women like myself immediately being masculinised in the media, or even the behavior of women to be quiet and submissive. This caused me to see myself as the odd one out (especially since my school was majority white), even though I was not, even my friends at the time had made me feel excluded. Even though my self esteem was affected, my perception of myself also was. I no longer viewed myself as a normal girl, I saw myself as separate from my white classmates, and it took me years to finally accept the fact that I belong in this country. I began to dislike my physical features and even personality, as I became more soft spoken and delicate to seem less masculine to others.
Eurocentric beauty standards have affected me a lot, specifically growing up, and I still unconsciously apply those beauty standards to myself daily. From my personal identity to my self esteem, it has influenced me greatly.
The stories and experiences that they shared sounded all too familiar. Those were experiences that I wish I didn’t, but unfortunately related to. These experiences, however, helped me understand how much the beauty standard plays a role in our lives today, and how detrimental the effects of it are. A majority of these stories come from our experiences from childhood.
It begins when we’re young. It begins with lack of representation in the media. It begins with your own friends telling you to attempt to reach white beauty standards. It begins with masculinising WOC and deeming them as unattractive. It begins with being called white passing and having your history being disregarded. It begins with your own community, where skin lightening is the norm.
When we see how frequent these experiences are, we realize how much the beauty standard affects POC and self image.
For me personally, once I realized how harmful the beauty standard was, I attempted to unlearn these harmful behaviors and biases. I began to consume black media, following and supporting women of colour, watching shows with representation, and realizing how beautiful POC truly are.
I began to appreciate other WOC’s beauty, and I soon recognized pieces of myself in other women. The features were shared, that looked so good, so beautiful on them. And so, I began to ask myself the question that I urge you all to also ask yourselves - If other POC’s features are so beautiful, why am I wasting my time hating my own?
Learning to love myself by loving other POC helped me deconstruct the internalized biases imposed by white beauty standards that told me how women should act, look, the best facial features, etc. Embracing my own features and seeing myself for who I truly was without internalized biases and white supremacist roots, was the first step to loving myself. Although I still have a long way to go, I applaud myself for how far I’ve come in terms of self image, and I realize how beautiful my features truly are. I am proud of myself, of my features, of my culture. I will never apologize for who I am.